


after i'm done (longing for you)

by oddpen



Series: i told you last week that my heart is to keep [1]
Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst, F/F, Pre-OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:12:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7184777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddpen/pseuds/oddpen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Who is Yoonsun?” Byulyi finally asks.</p>
<p>Hyejin’s gaze snaps up, regret settling quickly when she sees Byulyi’s curious gaze.</p>
<p>“Yoonsun?” Hyejin repeats, pretends to think about it when it’s really all she’s thought about since Wheein said her name.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Byulyi nods, “Wheein mentioned her in passing, I was wondering if you knew.”</p>
<p>Hyejin drops her pencil, says, “she’s an art student,” she turns the page of her book, “she’s really pretty.”</p>
<p>Byulyi raises an eyebrow at that, folding her arms over her chest, “how do you know that?”</p>
<p>“Wheein said so,” Hyejin’s tone grows deeper in her bitterness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	after i'm done (longing for you)

Hyejin smiles, chest flooding warmly when Wheein sits across from her, taking her lunch out.

The autumn air is crisp, lingering on cold.  
  
Wheein looks at her, mouth already full with food.  
  
Hyejin watches her eat, waits for her to talk.  
  
“How was class,” Wheein finally asks, taking a sip of her water bottle, “did you finish your calc project?”  
  
Hyejin nods, shrugs, “it was ok,” she stirs her noodles, “the model was as good as it was going to get so…”  
  
She trails off, putting noodles into her mouth.  
  
Wheein nods, eyes thoughtful, “it was probably perfect, everything you do is always perfect.”  
  
Hyejin smiles shyly at that, eyes shifting to Wheein’s phone when it lights up.  
  
The smile breaking over Wheein’s lips is _beautiful_ , Hyejin loses her breath for a second.  
  
“Who is that?” she asks as Wheein types furiously on her phone.  
  
There’s no answer for a while, Wheein clears her throat, eyes shifting nervously, lips settled in a happy smile, “a girl in one of my art classes,” she says cheerfully, leans her head on her hand when she puts her phone down, “she’s really pretty.”  
  
Hyejin doesn’t say anything, pretends to check her own phone for a second.  
  
“Oh,” she finally says, “that’s cool.”  
  
“Her name is Yoonsun,” Wheein tells her even though Hyejin remembers not asking.  
  
Hwasa nods, stuffing more noodles to her face.  
  
Wheein doesn't say anything for a while, typing away at her phone.  
  
Hwasa sighs, unsure of what to say.  
  
“Hey,” Wheein calls out, waits until Hyejin looks at her, “your lipstick looks good today.”  
  
Hyejin smiles.  
  
-  
  
Hyejin finds an empty table at the end of the library by the broken printer. She dumps her things on it, sitting down quickly and taking out her calc homework, turning on her graphic calculator and punching in values.  
  
She gets a text from Byulyi, buzzing loudly against her books.  
  
_where are you ?_  
  
Hwasa types a quick answer and goes back to penciling in answers to the word problems.  
  
It's not long before there's an iced tea being placed in front of her, Byulyi sitting across from her.  
  
“Hey,” Byulyi smiles, “Yongsun is coming too.”  
  
“That’s fine,” Hyejin says quickly, taking a sip of her drink.  
  
The quietness of the library soothes her, the only sound the scratching of her pencil, the rubbing of her eraser.  
  
Hyejin keeps her eyes down, avoids any eye contact that will give Byulyi permission to talk.  
  
She’s hunched over her book, holding her breath when she hears Byulyi put her drink down, the tapping of her finger against the wooden table.  
  
“Who is Yoonsun?” Byulyi finally asks.  
  
Hyejin’s gaze snaps up, regret settling quickly when she sees Byulyi’s curious gaze.  
  
“Yoonsun?” Hyejin repeats, pretends to think about it when it’s really all she’s thought about since Wheein said her name.  
  
“Yeah,” Byulyi nods, “Wheein mentioned her in passing, I was wondering if you knew.”  
  
Hyejin drops her pencil, says, “she’s an art student,” she turns the page of her book, “she’s really pretty.”  
  
Byulyi raises an eyebrow at that, folding her arms over her chest, “how do you know that?”  
  
“Wheein said so,” Hyejin’s tone grows deeper in her bitterness.  
  
Byulyi looks at her, face unreadable, leans forward, about to say something.  
  
“Wheein says a lot of things,” Byulyi answers back, her face breaking into a smile when her gaze goes past Hyejin, “Yongsun,” she says quietly.  
  
Hyejin watches them, how Yongsun lets Byulyi guide her on her lap, hand going to reach for her own drink.  
  
“Yoonsun is a pretty girl,” Byulyi says suddenly, catching Yongsun mid sip, “or so Hyejin says Wheein says.”  
  
Yongsun looks back at Byulyi, eyes back at Hyejin, “oh,” she says.  
  
Hyejin takes a deep breath.  
  
-  
  
Yoonsun’s hair is dark, sleek and inky, angling towards her shoulders. She smiles at Hyejin when Wheein pulls her into their dorm, hunched over to take away from her height.  
  
“Hi,” she says, waves her hand at Hyejin, laughs when Wheein pushes her to sit on her bed, “I’m Yoonsun.”  
  
Hyejin looks up from her laptop, pushing back the loose hair that has fallen into her face.  
  
“I’m Hyejin,” she says, “should I leave?” she asks loudly.  
  
“No,” Wheein says from where she’s rummaging through her bookbag, “we’re leaving like right now.”  
  
Hyejin barely has time to say anything else as Wheein snatches her sketchbook, hand reaching again for Yoonsun, the door slamming close behind her.  
  
-  
  
Hyejin walks into their dorm, eyes adjusting to the dark, her hand reaches for the switch but she freezes when she hears the the creak of Wheein’s bed, her eyes adjusting enough to see the silhouette of Wheein, the shadow of Yoonsun under her.  
  
She still turns the lights on, eyes closing shut for a second before they adjust, watching the way Wheein pushes herself away from Yoonsun, away from her mouth.  
  
“Hyejin,” her voice sounds rough, surprised.  
  
“Sorry,” Hyejin answers, “I just needed my book, I’ll leave soon.”  
  
She grabs the first book she finds, making sure not to look at Wheein’s side of the room, ducking out with another quick apology, hearing the creak of the bed as Wheein gets up, calls her name again.  
  
-  
  
She bumps into Yongsun before she makes it to the library.  
  
“Hey,” she says, eyes bright, voice cheery until she notices Hyejin’s glistening eyes, “what’s wrong?”  
  
She lets Yongsun buy her lunch, they find an empty table in the farthest corner of the dining hall. Hyejin rests her head on her hand, watching the way her spoon breaks away the soup in its paper container.  
  
Yongsun watches her for a second before she speaks again, “so what happened?”  
  
Hyejin flinches at the question, looking around before she lowers her voice, “don’t be so loud, unnie,” she says dejectedly.  
  
Yongsun leans closer to her, eyes expectant.  
  
“Wheein brought Yoonsun to the dorm again,” Hyejin mumbles.  
  
Yongsun keeps looking at her, urging her to go on.  
  
“They were kissing,” she sighs.  
  
The noises of cooking food, kids talking loudly over each other, they almost cover up Yongsun’s _sorry_ but Hyejin still hears it, blinks the fresh tears clinging to her eyelashes.  
  
-  
  
Eventually Yoonsun begins to be everywhere, following Wheein around, hands always touching, bodies pressing together.  
  
Hyejin keeps to herself, focused on her assignments, spending even more time in the library.  
Byulyi always finds her, brings with her cups of iced tea, little encouraging talks.  
  
“I’ll talk to her if you want,” she whispers from their seat in the library, “maybe she’ll give you time to get used to it if she knows it makes you uncomfortable…”  
  
Hyejin doesn’t say anything to that, she pretends like it’s funny, laughs and goes back to her work.  
  
Even with her constant avoidance Hyejin suffers the moments when she can’t escape, when she has to listen to Wheein laugh at whatever Yoonsun has whispered in her ear, the way her eyes flicker to her and she can see the fondness in them.  
  
She can’t stand it when Wheein turns to talk to her and all she can offer back are barely covered grimaces.  
  
The distance she has stretched between them becomes flimsy, impossible to keep up when she can’t let go, not after all the years they have spent together.  
  
Their small dorm doesn’t leave much room for Hyejin to keep a distance, their friendships, Yongsun and Byulyi keep pulling Hyejin along, sitting silently when they meet for lunch or dinner, weekends spent studying together.  
  
It all simmers inside her, a flickering of bitterness curling in her stomach, when Yoonsun presses kisses to Wheein’s mouth, when Wheein follows her for another.  
  
When Wheein’s eyes flicker to her, locking together, as if to make sure Hyejin is still there, looking.  
  
So she gets used to not talking to Wheein, nodding along to her quickly thinning rambles when she gets back from classes, finding comfort in Byulyi’s arms, Yongsun’s pitiful jokes.  
  
“Yongsun and I are going to go out,” Byulyi says from around her straw, “do you want to come, Yongsun says she would be really happy if you did, you have studied way too much. And you know if Yongsun says that then it has to be true.”  
  
Hyejin smiles at that, laughing a little before she closes her notes, “sure,” she says, “I have nothing else to do, I’ll go with you.”  
  
“Go where?” there’s the dragging of a chair, the smell of Wheein as she sits down, smiling, “where are we going?”  
  
Byulyi blinks, smiling quickly, “shopping, maybe.”  
  
“Ah, tonight?” Wheein leans forward, “I think Yoonsun can come.”  
  
-  
  
The night has gotten colder, Hyejin curls into herself, sliding her nose into the collar of her windbreaker, running a free hand against her newly dyed hair.  
  
Wheein had left after her phone had began to go off, smiling at them before running out of the library.  
  
Byulyi and her had walked out towards Yongsun’s dorm, quietly as the afternoon breeze had picked up.  
  
“This will cheer you up,” Yongsun had promised, “plus it’s relaxing.”  
  
Her eyes land on Byulyi and Yongsun’s linked hands, watching the way Byulyi laughs at something before she turns to Hyejin, beckoning her to catch up.  
  
“She said she’s here,” Byulyi says when she looks up from her phone.  
  
“There they are,” Yongsun points out, letting go of Byulyi’s hand, taking a hold of Hyejin’s, smiling, “you’ll be alright, right?”  
  
Hyejin nods.  
  
It almost feels like nothing is wrong, Yongsun pulls Hyejin along, Byulyi following close by, stopping at stores. Yongsun buys her some small things, hair clips and a pair of gloves.  
Hyejin smiles gratefully, feeling touched, catching on to her friend’s intentions.  
  
“Thank you,” she mumbles when they stop at a food stall, “for this...even if you know.”  
  
“You’ve been so sad lately,” Yongsun sighs, “you deserve a break from that.”  
  
Byulyi comes back with food, blowing at the steam rising from it. Hyejin watches her break the little cakes, looking around when she hears Wheein’s laughter, turns to look as she stands on her tip toes, feeding Yoonsun from her own food, laughing when Yoonsun moves back and some of it gets on her nose.  
  
“Hyejin,” Byulyi calls for her, voice soft.  
  
Hyejin pries her eyes away from the other two, blinking when there’s food under her nose.  
  
“Open up,” Byulyi says, voice teasing.  
  
Hyejin smiles, playing along, putting up a thumbs up.  
  
“Aw,” Yongsun coos, “here have some more, our little baby Hyejin!”  
  
Hyejin tries to laugh, but Yongsun shoves more food into her mouth, leaning closer to clean the crumbs around her mouth.  
  
“Unnie,” Hyejin whines but they just laugh at her, patting her cheeks, poking at them.  
  
“Cute baby Hyejin,” Byulyi sing songs, laughing louder.  
  
Hyejin tries to back away but Yongsun’s hands pull her back, making exaggerated cooing sounds.  
  
She likes this, likes that she can pretend Wheein and Yoonsun aren’t with them.  
  
“Stop it,” she huffs, crossing her arms, “lets find somewhere to sit.”  
  
-  
  
Yongsun offers to pay for her bubble tea when they find the small shop. Byulyi drags them into it, Wheein and Yoonsun following behind them.  
  
She excuses herself as they queue up to order, finding her way to the restroom.  
  
She’s not sure what she’s expecting, her heart quickening when a hand pulls at her wrist, pulling her back, Wheein’s gaze is something Hyejin can’t describe, as she corners her, backs her up against the wall of the small hallway.  
  
“What are you doing?” Wheein asks, voice hushed, “what are you doing with Yongsun and Byulyi?”  
  
Hyejin doesn’t answer, doesn’t know how or why she has to answer.  
  
She stares at Wheein, “Get off me,” she says.  
  
Wheein ignores her, doesn’t budge, “you changed your hair.”  
  
Hyejin’s hand goes back to her hair, watching the way the her copper hair breaks between her fingers.  
  
She doesn’t give an answer to that.  
  
“It looks good on you,” Wheein fills in the silence.  
  
Hyejin squints her eyes at Wheein, pushing her back, taking a step back.  
  
“Yoonsun is waiting for you,” Hyejin sighs, “leave me alone.”  
  
Wheein takes a step forward, “What are you doing with Yongsun and Byulyi?”  
  
“None of your business,” Hyejin feels anger bubbling inside her, “why do you keep asking when it doesn’t concern you.”  
  
Wheein’s eyes harden, jaw set tight, “Aren’t we friends?” she asks quietly.  
  
Hyejin doesn’t answer, looks away.  
  
“Are they not enough for each other,” Wheein speaks again, voice sounding strained, “are they that greedy?”  
  
Hyejin looks up then, eyes meeting Wheein’s but unable to form a response. She stares until Wheein laughs, bitterly, cut off.  
  
“I didn’t think you were that kind of person,” Wheein says, “so shameless.”  
  
Hyejin’s anger flares up again, hand going to push Wheein away, “you have no right to judge me,” she whispers, “you don’t know what’s going on.”  
  
Wheein stumbles back, regains footing, hand going up to reach for Hyejin.  
  
“Hyejin,” Byulyi calls as she gets closer, smile faltering a little when she sees their positions. Hyejin watches the way she regains it quickly, bypassing Wheein easily, hand going to interlock with Hyejin’s.  
  
“What’s taking so long,” she says brightly, pulling Hyejin around, “Yongsun is getting antsy without you!”  
  
Hyejin sees the way Wheein’s eyes narrow, but she lets Byulyi pull her back.  
  
-  
  
Byulyi kisses her cheek when they leave her at her dorm building, Yongsun smiles at her, waves as they turn around and walk away.  
  
She can feel the blush on her cheek, the warmness of Byulyi’s lips, she can still hear Wheein’s accusing questions.  
  
There’s a lot of questions she has now, looking at her phone, at the messages Byulyi sent her last. She types out question after question but deletes them all.  
  
Hyejin blinks at the ceiling of her dark dorm room, Wheein’s side empty. She sighs, unlocks her phone.  
  
_i had fun today, thank you...tell yongsun unnie too_


End file.
